At the age of 35 in 2005, on a drunken wedding night, we agreed that my wife would drive home with the children early and that I would join her on foot later, taking a path through the forest with a friend.
After a very long night walk (10km) and a state of tiredness mixed with deep joy, I experience what turns out to be an involuntary and very "physical" "Kundalini surge".
A powerful vibration travels up and down my body with the sound of a jet plane. I feel as if the dentist's large drill is ploughing through my skull. My heart is beating like crazy. When everything stops, I feel a sense of calm, fulfillment, fullness, love and lightness that I've never experienced before in my life.
I wonder at this point what the usual, normal state of the rest of humanity is. Are they all experiencing the lightness I've lacked all my life? I realize for a moment that everything is an illusion and that there is no real causality.
On my return to the gîte (at 4:00 am), I try to share this wonderful experience, which lasts one or two hours, with my wife (whom I divorce 2 years later). It's late, she's tired and doesn't understand me.
I start to fall asleep and, unfortunately, in this half-sleep I remember in a confused way getting caught up in a discussion with the soul of a foreign military man (Polish Nazi?) who seems to be apologizing for the harm he's going to do to my family. It's as if he's paying an endless incarnation curse by taking the world with him.